How to catch and kill a lion!

One of the internet jokes - some of you may have seen it - it's a funny one. Thanks Murali for sending it.

First catch the lion, using Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat, and claim that your testing has proven that it’s a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues, tell that you will upgrade it to Lion in the next release.

Or the Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal, and interrogate it, and torture it to accept that it’s a Lion.

Then kill the lion, using one of the following methods:

Rajnikanth Method:
Keep warning the lion that you may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Ramarajan Method:
Remove the make-up and put it over the lion. The lion will die unable to take that heavy weight.

Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping.

Director Manirathnam Method:
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Director Karan Johar Method:
Send a lioness into the forest. our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand right...? Ok....read it after 15 yrs, and then also u won’t!

Director Yash Chopra method:
Take the lion to Australia or US... and kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and declare war on it.

Rahul dravid method:
Ask the lion to bowl at you. You bat for 200 balls and score 1 run.

Add any other interesting method you come up with.

 Karthikeyan said...

Kamal Method:

Go near the lion and cry like anything.... Lion will die of sorrow !

Director Bharathiraja Method:

Send Napolean and kill it with Thirupacchi aruva.

Director Shanker method:

Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.

Vijaykanth method:

Bring 5 more lions.Fight with them and kill all of them expect one.Then advice some patriotism to the remaining one.This lion will become cow.

T.Rajendar method:

Bring one lioness.Make ur lion to fall in love with the lioness.arrange for some 6 or 7 songs(make sure that none of them are duets)....Finally see to
that the love is broken.lion will die of love failiure

Shah rukh khan method:

Release a film like 'ASHOKA".and make the lion to watch the movie.

Author unknown

August 09, 2005 7:00 AM

My first cousin Lakshmi Akka is visiting US. (She lives in Bangalore.) She is staying with us for two weeks.
லஷ்மி அக்கா.

We went to the IMAX...
ஐமாக்ஸில்.

...and the Science Museum...
ம்யூஸியத்தில்.

...she loved the walk through downtown.
டௌன்டவுனில்.

More downtown.
டௌன்டவுனில்.

 roya parsay said...

Thanks for the comments and opinion. I amstill wondering how these 2 countries can do what they want and get by.

August 05, 2005 10:03 PM

(More) CBS Non-sense

It is well known that CBS is crap. There is no limit to their leftist bias and political correctness (PC). They try very hard to outdo their leftist old media comrades on these, and often achieve that. Here is an example: In their zeal to appease minority, which is consistent with their PC crap, they have disparaged the Stars and Stripes with an Islamic Crescent. Here is the non-sense of a story for which they used that graphic. Now, just think for a moment how outraged CBS will be, if any conservative organization does the same thing with a Christian Cross or a Jewish Star. I bet you, there will be long lectures from their ‘experts’, TV talking heads, on how that infringes on separation of church and state, how we are moving towards theology, how the flag does not belong to a particular religion, etc. CBS, what a hypocrites!

Disclosures:
1. I am not a Christian or a Jew or a Muslim; I am a Hindu.
2. I have been boycotting old media for years; I check on them once in a while to see if they learned anything and changed their ways; the answer has been a resounding NO.

 roya parsay said...

Hereis my question:What is it that Iran says he continues building the nuclear power, and Israel says she continues to build settlement houses, both against America's wish? Israel says that while she get billions a year from America and Iran says that thou they took hostages fromAmerica. Why these 2 countries have so much power over America? Dont throw shoes just honestly answer this question,both news are in the paper today.Both countries go against America's wish ,where is the power coming from

August 05, 2005 12:51 AM

 Shan R Shanmuganathan said...

My short answer: In the equation between Israel and US, clearly Israel is the winner. America can only wish it has more sway for the investment it has made.
As far Iran, they are cashing on the lack of unity among the western nations, mainly because of France. (Why is that? That is a whole another topic.)
If US is sufficiently threatened by Iran or any other nation, they won't hesitate for a moment to take the action. Every country acts on its own self interest (or that of the ruler). US does not have any more power than how wisely it uses the carrots and sticks.

August 05, 2005 12:34 PM

What Do You Read?

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
   
   
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
   
   
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country.
   
   
4. USA Today is read by people who like to understand everything in pie charts.
   
   
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who won't mind running the country [if they don't have to leave L.A. to do it].
   
   
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
   
   
7. [New York] Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country [and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train].
   
   
8. New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country [as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated].
   
   
9. San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country [or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for, unless they are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are Democrats]
   
   
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who want to run Cuba.
    
    
11. The National Enquirer is read by people who think aliens are running the country.

12. Nobody reads The Atlanta Journal Constitution or The Charlotte Observer.

I read Drudgereport. What do you read?

This is an aerial view of my house, 5 Pattakkara St, Mannargudi, the address and the house I have known all my life. We can trace the names of forefathers that lived almost 150 years ago in this house, but this house is generations older than that. This was the root, the first house, for the 'Pillai' clan of Pattakkara Street. As the 'Pillai' family branched out, they constructed new houses in the rest of the street, and over time, moved away to Chennai, Bombay and rest of the country, and now the world. The house pretty much stayed in the same shape though generations that went through prosperity and peril. Once a rich family, (I would think 200 acres of land as rich during the 19th century), our forefathers squandered the wealth, leaving us a lower middle class family by the middle of last century. At least on two occasions in the last 75 years, the house was in imminent danger of collapse, somehow, somebody from that generation, would come to the rescue and save it.

Now the dilemma; In spite of me willing to spend all it takes to shore up the house, it simply is not structurally sound anymore. Also, there aren't any masons available to work with these old houses anymore. Every mason and carpenter only knows the modern concrete buildings. I have been struggling with this decision for years now, and consulted few engineers. It has come to a point where it is putting my mother and others in danger. Every one I know is advocating demolishing the house and building a modern house. Being the lucky inheritor of this ancestral property, the weighty decision is on my shoulder. I am finally moving in the direction of demolishing it. Being the original house of the clan, this house was always open to anyone who descended from there. Even though I legally own it now, anybody from the clan is always welcome to come and live as long as they wished; this is the place some of them chose to spend their last breath. Keeping all that in mind, I requested my mother to inform everyone we will be demolishing it and wanted to give them sufficient time to visit. Until the demolition starts, I will be debating if I made the right decision.

Let me know if you have an idea to save the house or want to visit.

A view of the inner Koodam (hall).

A view from the street level. We used to have two Thinnais, which we modified during the 90s to this look.

Another view of the Koodam. Many many weddings and other functions have happened in this house. Srinidhi is lucky enouh to be the last generation to have been here. He had his Kaathu Kuthu here.

 Anonymous said...

Anna,

Today is "Ganesha Chathurthi", a listed holiday for me. I am just back from Trivandaram Trip, had been there to take my PMP(Project management) Certificate test. I Passed it ! ..

I spend nearly entire day reading every blog you have entered... Great Content and Narration.

This Particular Blog on the "#5 Pattakara Street" particularly brought my little memories, Father Also was with me...

Lot to Say .... Nevertheless , Thanx for Those Pictures, I have them saved now !..

Regards & Love
Ramesh Babu Muthuvel.

September 07, 2005 8:03 AM

 Shan R Shanmuganathan said...

Thanks Ramesh for the comment. Periya Periyappa Sasthiaaptapoorty pictures I have in the blog are from the album I borrowed from your mother. I scanned that entire album. I will return it next time around. You must be having lot of old photos since your dad was meticulous in taking pictures. Please save them and scan them. Otherwise, I will borrow it from you scan next time.

September 11, 2005 7:35 AM

Shamu the Whale; Sea World, San Diego, Feb 2001. Myself, Veena and Ramesh Babu drove from Los Angeles to San Diego.

சான்டியாகோ (கலிபோர்னியா) சீ வோர்ல்ட்; இந்த திமிங்கிலத்தின் பெயர், ஷாமு! 2001 பிப்ரவரி.

If you ever drive that way, there is a pit stop somewhere in the middle (sorry no name for that location, I found it rather accidentally; locals may have/know the name), where you can find giant squirrels that come up to you unafraid and pick food from your hand. Keep some nuts handy and camera too. See the squirrel burrows on the slope.

லாஸ் ஏஞ்ஜலஸிலிருந்து சான்டியாகோ போகும் வழியில், ஒரு ஓய்விடம் உள்ளது. பெயரில்லாத அந்த இடத்தை நான் யதார்த்தமாகத்தான் கண்டுபிடித்தேன். நீங்கள் அந்த வழியே போனால், கண்டுபிடிக்க முடிந்தால், அங்கே போகவும். போகும் போது, நிறைய கடலை எடுத்து போகவும் (கேமராவும் கூட). அங்கே ராட்சத(!) அணில்கள் ஒரு பயமும் இல்லாமல், கையிலிருக்கும் பண்டத்தை வந்து எடுத்து செல்லும்!